The Death of Forrest Gump

Topics: Jokes, Heaven

The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump died and went to Heaven. He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates were closed, however, and Forrest approached the gatekeeper. 

Saint Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been having to administer an entrance exam for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven." 

Forrest responded, "It shore is good to be here, Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test ain't too hard, life was a big enough test
as it was." 

Saint Peter went on, "Yes, I know Forrest. But, the test I have has only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? Third, what is God's first name?" 

Forrest went away to think the questions over. He returned the next day and went up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions. 

Saint Peter waved him up and asked, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers." 

Forrest said, "Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow." 
The saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest! That's not what I was thinking, but... you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify, so I give you credit for that answer. 

How about the next one? How many seconds in a year?" 

"Now that one's harder," said Forrest. "But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve." Astounded, Saint Peter said, "Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?" Forrest said, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second..." "Hold it," interrupted Saint Peter. "I see where you're going with it. And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind. I'll give you credit for that one too." 

"Let's go on with the next and final question." said Saint Peter, "Can you tell me God's first name?" Forrest said, "Well, shore, I know God's first name. Everybody knows it. It's Harold." "Harold?!" asked Saint Peter. "What makes you think it's Harold?!" 
Forrest answered, "It's in the prayer." 
"The prayer?" asked Saint Peter, "Which prayer?" 
"You know, The Lord's Prayer," responded Forrest: 
"Our Father, which art in Heaven, Harold be thy name..." 

Written by Rev.Tim Gibson from unknown source.